Lube, Jeans and “the Hoff” – in That Order

I love living in a classy neighborhood.  On the way home from work the other day, a local bar had “Lube Wrestling Fri Night” on a lit sign.  I’ve never experienced nor seen, but have heard of, oil wrestling.  This just seems like a messy, degrading experience for people.  I’m not into either.  I’m assuming that Lube Wrestling is the much more expensive, male version (let’s face it, that stuff’s expensive) and the venue’s a gay bar.  Nothing like enforcing a poor stereotype of gay dudes…I digress.

My friend Brad and I decided to hit up Michigan Avenue for some shopping…on a Saturday…during holiday shopping season.  I wouldn’t say it was horrible but it brings out the true urban dweller in me.  There were so many tourists standing around watching dumb things, I almost felt the need to say, “Um, it’s a dude in metallic face paint, who sort of looks like Michael Jackson, standing completely still.  Get over it.”  Ok, I admit that might have been worth taking a picture of for this blog post.  But, he’s there all the time and it sounds much more fascinating in print that it is in real life.  Trust me on this one.

Just past ‘metallic Micheal Jackson wanna be’ is the Levi’s store.  I walked in and was instantly overwhelmed by the fact two of the four walls were completely lined with denim from top to bottom. If you’re ass can’t find a pair of decent fitting jeans at this place, you’ve got some issues.  The absurd thing was how many women were trying to squeeze their asses into skinny jeans, when they had absolutely no right to do so.  Do us a favor folks – if you need to make a trip to my neighborhood and take a dip in the lube pool before trying on a pair of jeans, they’re most likely not the right size or fit for you.

Yet another reason not to watch television…David Hasselhoff‘s new show “The Hasselhoffs” premiers tonight on A&E.  One of the promotional snippits shows David saying, “I can’t seem to get a job.”  I’m like, “Hello, dumb shit. A&E is shooting a low budget, high income reality show about your drunk ass and your family.  You’re getting paid, aren’t you?”   The sad part is, Americans will probably tune in and watch him make an idiot of himself yet again.  Is it me or is television just getting worse with every passing season?

Happy Sunday and Go Steelers!



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